Maybelle Regaspi – Bounce

Greetings greetings greetings
and welcome to Heal Talk with Liza.
It’s so good to be
here with you is intact.
Today’s a special day for I
have.
A beautiful soul or spirit
and author a woman,
a warrior
in the house of with US
and her name is Maybelle Regaspi
so I would like to
introduce you to
this beautiful
lady right here welcome welcome.
Thank you for being here and saying
yes to you because that’s exactly.
What this is all about
so are you ready
for some real talk.
Yes I am all Sam.
Do he does so.
A part of the.
People who come on my show is.
For women especially women who have
overcome some challenges of their own
and have a right waves that to eat place
in life that they are making a difference
in the world
was something.
I know you’ll have a bot
but let’s talk about your book
but specially
let’s talk about
what do you mean when you say
bounce.
Yeah. I
You know it’s it’s it’s interesting because
when I was asked what title would I liked
this book.
To have. Readily I
said pounds and I said.
Because that’s what
happened to me.
I think that was my story
and and.
You know coming from a really dark
place in there was hopelessness all around
but then.
I see myself now anything
that’s what happened so.
Right away I didn’t think.
Of anything else but that title.
Beautiful.
So when I think about
pounds I also think
about like a bridge it
bounces of ball bounces
so wherever we are
we can bounce to the next level.
Okay.
So.
Your story.
It’s.
As it says on your shirt.
Coming from a
from where you
were as an abused.
Woman.
A wife.
Okay.
A mother
yes.
Let’s talk about that how
long were you in that marriage.
Is what.
We got married before but
we will live together first.
Carolina
together for like five years.
Alright show.
Five years of marriage
togetherness
and when you talk about abuse.
As a domestic
violence
consulting to myself.
I know that there is a little
can start start off.
It it can be emotionally
mentally
and then it gets to
the for physical part.
By when you target
even in your book
which is an Amazon.
In your book.
You say.
That he took you
to homelessness.
Let’s talk about that.
Okay
yes.
Well first the abuse you.
Are married to this
person or when you’re
with this person you love
this person you tend to.
Ignore.
The abuse although
in the beginning you know it’s already
because you know your boundaries but then
again this person
is just pushing it.
And
it took years
take years for me
but then again he
got to a point where.
I realize this this
should not be.
Correct because I was
losing sight of who I was.
I was I started believing
those words that he’s
he was calling me.
And that’s.
Why
it got scary for me and I said.
Something has to be done
and no one was it for me but me.
And for me to be able to do that is the
basically do move myself in a situation
and at the time he already
moved here in the bay area.
And I had no family.
I had no one to go to and the best but the
safest place for me to go at that time was
homeless shelter.
Okay
so I ended up there
alright.
So.
Let’s.
You already said
that it’s okay to be
candidate how many times
in your mind or in reality did you
leave and came back. More than once.
Okay
more than once.
In reality or in your my in in reality
okay cause we moved to San Francisco
bay area.
We’ve learned from here
los Angeles glendale’s.
Then be moved there.
I came back here for
eighteen days I tried
but then you know like
abusers kind of have.
This pattern where they
would say that change
be plan to therapy
he was doing this.
And.
Forgive me
hm.
So I came back so I
stayed you’re eighteen days
and then they came
back I went back there and
how we live together again
and then he didn’t stop.
Her
like eight months or so.
It wouldn’t stop.
Then one day I
just realized this
should not be.
I know this might be
a little bit difficult
because I see you’re
already getting emotional.
And.
The the cycle of abuse.
The cycle.
There is a cycle
a cycle that it starts
very gradually yes.
I cycle of a little bit of
a manipulate should.
A cycle of small
little things that
maybe a control and you
think oh how wonderful that is
right
and.
So how did you know that
you call it abuse that
you were being abused
because there was a
pattern I started seeing
a pattern although
before I saw that but
I would justify it.
But then later on as I
was nearing that time that
you know I decided to have to
leave remove myself in that situation.
And. It’s the pattern
it’s it’s making me
crazy let’s talk about
the powers so let’s talk
about some of the patterns so
our audience especially
women and he doesn’t matter because
it happens both in men and women but
majority ninety two percent.
Of the population
is women
who are in this domestic
abusive relationship and here.
Allow me to say
we’re not talking
about domestic violence
we’re only talking about
the
abuse
the violence
is
A whole segment of it
it’s one
that he reaches to the violence.
Correct yeah okay.
So to he’s form
of abuse is your.
So it’s mostly verbal.
It’s the meaning.
The pattern is he would
call me certain things like.
Things that really really bad.
However.
After a while he
would say I’m sorry
and then he wouldn’t
need back to the person
that I fell for like
really very sweet
and thoughtful.
And then we’ll do it again.
But then it gradually
kind of like elevated.
So the the bad words.
And. Started started
to be really really bad.
Okay.
So.
When you’re talking about
backwards it’s not the f word
it is to be word
is to be were.
It’s the be worried it’s
degrading it’s decorating any. Me.
And I call this
person is calling me.
Giving your a label that it’s
not me but he is where I realize.
When you’re being called.
A lot of times.
Sometimes you will believe it.
I had conversations with myself.
Kind of like maybe that.
And that was scary because.
It’s kind of like I’m fighting with mice
Zach this one will say no you’re not you’re
not that person.
Maybe you are
so that was scary
so I think that was my
that was the button that.
I Pressed because I said
something has to be gone I
cannot be like this
because I have.
Conversations with myself.
My own identity about my
own identity and that was hard.
Because
I thought I knew who I was
and I was trying to
to believe that but then again
there’s part of me that selling.
Know you’re probably that.
What do you say to women who.
Have traditionally.
In Certain cultures.
It’s like.
You are married.
That’s what she wanted
you stay there and you
make the best side of it
few words
are not going to
break you.
Oh I’ve heard that
be
I believe me I’ve
heard that and I heard.
Similar stories to and I ended up at
the shelter because it was a Porsche.
The.
Over the place they
were in the domestic
violence situation.
Do. And I but.
Those women that I.
Talked to
they weren’t really kind of.
Forget forget the
worried damage.
Because.
Of the uses yeah and
the use other means to.
Kind of.
Numb the pain.
I didn’t go to that.
I never smoke I never
did get into drugs.
I Didn’t go to that
part so when I say.
I heard them
I heard them over and over
that they don’t want it
but then they stayed.
Because.
They believe it.
The abusers going to change.
To me I stayed
at the extent
where.
I couldn’t take it anymore so I remove
myself in the situation and I didn’t use
anything that would
further damage me.
They only.
Which.
Kudos to the.
Kudos to you.
Most women.
Do not have the same guts.
A lot think about it.
Come up with
patterns what can I do.
Anything I want you to
know as you are watching this.
Is that if is this
resonates with you.
For you to start thinking.
Or even in your own desired
mind
started planning
how
can
I.
Leave.
Before even we leave.
In our gut in our core we
know something is not right.
Correct yeah
okay.
So all the times that you.
In your mind.
In reality left and went back.
What is the main.
Strength what was it
was it your child
that made you go back
or was it your child.
Because of your child’s
you had to safeguard yourself
know.
This.
Partner of migrant and have.
Child children of our on okay
I. Know now.
I don’t like to hear this
but your question that why
isn’t that made me combine.
Believe it or not nice
I love this person.
I fell hard for this person.
Really.
And and
you know when you love
someone you’re blinded.
You’d try to believe that
this is good submitting
my love of change
this person but. Didn’t.
K.
Most d v situations.
Are the ones we love.
Yeah
and it heard so much
of course
because we believe in the love.
And you believed then the lump.
And it was.
The love of for who you are.
That was stronger
than the love for him.
Do you realize that.
Late.
Not during not at
that time but late.
Is never late.
When you do it.
You did it at the right
time at the right place yes
exactly at the right but
because if you hadn’t done it
earlier do you sing you would.
Be able to.
Have all.
I’m
It it’s not about that you had to
suffer to be where you are right now
and yeah if you
you had left within
the first time that you
left would you have.
The.
Information the experience
the knowledge from the inside.
For you to write this
book probably not.
Okay.
So.
What.
What happened after
the shelter because
after a d v when you go into.
The.
Shelter was at a
down wc a shelter.
Or is it a
different shelter for women.
Know it’s it’s and
they offered me to
go out to just plain like.
Women and db.
Shelter right but I opted
to go to and and with when
okay.
So it’s not only for a d d
to there’s.
All kinds of shopaholics.
Yeah
and it’s it’s coed
men and
kind of.
The reason being is that.
What women’s shelter only.
I am not.
Allowed to.
They’ve all its where my.
Loco nation is exactly it is a
safe place yes and my only.
Family ever color the people
from church and I do not want.
Not. I do not want anyone
not knowing where I was
okay and I wanted to
be still connected with
them and they can call me or I
can call them. So. I chose that
and.
Think.
If it’s debates and I
think it it worked out.
I learned a lot
I learned a lot it worked
out it worked out with yeah.
He did my ignorance about.
Homelessness.
I’m share with you.
Share with US.
About the homelessness.
From shelter where
you are not prepared.
As far as work
money.
Having some kind of a
safety and everything.
It was not plan you just did.
Okay
okay it wasn’t plan.
You don’t you know you don’t
find for things like this the first year
but
I.
I got there.
With my ignorance about homelessness I got
there because there was no place else to go
and I was.
Sure short myself that I’m not going back
to l a I am here I will bloom ran find it
so that that has been my mind through and
I was there I will bloom to hide to put his
it.
Blue where I am plant.
Yeah you put new near and and
to be honest with you
a lot of my friends from here
they didn’t know what happened.
They just know later when I started getting
back just a started seeing my posts and
what it has been doing
but going back to your question
how was it like in homeless shelter.
So when I was here.
I didn’t see a lot of homeless
people. Though we’re we
Good here.
Schoolwork and the bay
area I see I’m on the street
then you know your your
ignorance when you’re when you say.
You kind of.
Judge people from
the way they look.
Was that about a
homeless people.
Because.
You know they’re
there and cabs
right there.
Have.
Heavy bags
the carried with and
they’re crossing the street.
So I would
you know like the dirty.
Those things.
I ended up there.
And I saw all kinds
of people not all the
addicks not all the alcohol is not
all the victims of domestic violence.
As the regular people
like me like professional
people people who
had business before
and lost it.
And.
I said people like
me people who.
Not tried drugs or alcohol or.
Y’all king and all that
so.
I I was so ignorant
when I got there
and in the beginning.
I was presenting it
I was the question
why am I here.
And.
You know.
When you’re put in a situation
and there’s no way out.
You started opening
up your eyes since in weight
and hero letting.
I might as well
you know
make the best to make them that make
the best out of it and that’s that’s how it
started and then I started
talking to people.
Some of them have stories and when I heard
their stories and not some all of them
have stories
when I started hearing their
stories I started to shut up
because what I
experience is nothing compared.
To like I feel all my
gosh I’m so whiny.
What they had
been through is nothing
compared to what I haven’t.
There’s
situation is
more difficult.
I would say.
It’s amazing.
Everyone has a story
hm.
And I when I start working
with my clients I usually say.
It is now.
His.
Story.
Which is.
History.
Oh okay re story Houston.
So allow of that to stay there.
As you create
your
the this is my life.
And this is my life.
It can start right
here right now.
Yours happened on the day you
walked out and you went to a shelter
and you didn’t
go to a safe house
which
most
it when it is in
such drastic situations that there is
violence debate are in fear of their light.
Okay.
Which
the there are many.
We have to safeguard them.
And yet you were comfortable enough
that if I were to stay here away from him.
He’s not going to.
Threaten my life or
you need didn’t feel
of in fear of your life
correct at that time not anymore or kind of
any more because I knew he he would not
do anything
like farther than
going after he knows I’m I was
already at the shelter he was go there
okay. Alright but he
did not stop calling.
Of course.
Of course the verbal so
when when did you server.
And and. Their.
That chapter.
Or is it ended.
Like completely.
No talking no contact not
at all I mean he’s just like
you go your way I am free.
A year after.
So he took her your whole year.
Are you stronger inside.
Today.
Yes.
Beautiful.
And I want everyone she know.
What you just said.
It was so profound.
That.
This can happen
just to any anyone.
A professional a
career woman a mother
coming from affluent family.
So right.
Because your not one of
those knees or anything
you’re highly educated.
Right.
Share with us
what is
who is.
Hey now
the bail.
Well.
So I am I an hour I like
the salmon immigrant
in Most of us are cordially
come to this country with
with the hope of you
know bettering our lives and
so that was my story
I came here because I
wanted to have a better future
for my children aged so I came here
initially on and off I would
come visit and then go home
but then in two
thousand six I stayed.
On the caregiving
industry was was.
The industry that I was mostly drawn to so
and that’s what I did I did a lot of care
giving private did an agency.
And you know at the same
time I was earning money to send
back home.
But.
I.
Who is me about.
Without I think.
I would say I was.
Boring first.
Nothing much better I would.
So those times that I was working I
would do like two or three four jobs even I
wouldn’t do.
It there was even some chefs are
twenty four hours I would take that.
Said morning in the sense that
I had no social life at that time
when you were a hard working
first yeah not a boring pershing.
Okay.
Thank you.
And at the same time
when I had a chance I
volunteered at church
so that was my last
hard working person in
yeah work and. Church.
K just that for many years
I the a person of faith.
Yes a personal service.
Okay.
It said but my life had become
you know colorful I would say.
When I went through this dark in difficult
times cause I came out and I just started
doing.
More sometimes donate
when I think about it
these things I did not
even think that I will
be doing.
Now at this stage of my life.
I’m just starting
at guess okay so
you are still.
In the line of service yes.
In a different way
yes.
You see what you did I
believe you shifted one arena.
For another arena
and
yes church and
everything of caregiving
you’re still giving cure.
In a bigger
platform.
Yes
okay.
So where as before you were working
working working as if you did not matter.
Now.
As I say.
My tagline is HealWithin is
where transformation begins because
when we evoke
what was which is.
In that history
of what you went
through and who you are
to come to embrace.
Who you are.
Currently.
And in order for you to involved
to what it is that you wind
to give to share to
educate to inform
and to row in to.
You realize
I do man.
Thank you for
saying that because.
I didn’t.
Believe that method I don’t know that i’m
matter a just that it didn’t cross my mind
the for it just a routine of.
Goody.
Work work work and
then tomorrow repeat.
There was just no meaning.
Because it was just
all mechanical for.
Because I was
to me said okay payday comes
hate avail center the kids
just that and then repeat. And it.
It was just routine
it’s a routine robotic.
Yes yeah we become robots.
But then after the third
times I quite like that.
The challenging times.
I came out and.
During the week I would work my
regular work but in the weekend.
Pregnant I look for
none party where
I party is is giving
back to the community.
Because I never stopped going to
all writer okay that’s.
Just brought this of
are you ready for this.
Okay. So if you are
work work work and you’re
giving back to the
community what’s the
difference between you
then
in you now.
Is still work work work and giving
back to the community where’s.
The time.
I’m more excited now
before it’s just make can so it’s
only your excitement that has changed
about how to give what about you. I
think I’m on loving nine more giving
torture.
Myself.
Because I get first and
myself and mental others.
I didn’t know that before the sci
one who he just give to others.
And the.
Welcome.
This is hard.
Okay.
Welcome to you.
Thank you.
Hm.
Hm.
When we realize we matter
it’s not that.
You know someone says
who doesn’t know that
the matter how you perceive
I didn’t.
Ah
Are so many of
US walking around.
Not.
Realizing that.
It’s okay
if I
matter
vs
My parents my family my
husband my children my
my church my this that.
Everything because it’s like
I worked to pay a work
to give I work to do I work
to chauffeur
I
Everything
and then.
Hungry.
To see who you are.
Hungry.
For.
Ten minutes of.
Me-time.
Right yeah.
I do that now
I didn’t do
before.
So what do you do for fun.
So fun.
Fine
is.
Fine with
I volunteer I like
what do you do for fun.
From me
massage.
There you go outside
who am I talking are
you of course for you
I’m talking to do so
she still not believing.
Yes to get massages how often
I.
Once a month.
When some.
I treat my said here’s one
he has the biggest thing.
Money and very.
Manicure and pedicure.
Yes
manager and pedicure is.
I feel so happy every
time okay once a week.
A month yeah for twice a
month I treat myself just.
Feel good.
Okay so When
we do
the manicure years
and the petty cures.
It’s.
You know a lot
of people they do.
All kinds of external stuff like
the Botox taxes they
haired eyelashes and
everything I think it is absolutely
amazing. But in the same time
do
A little vote.
A low bit of
internal.
Gifting.
Which gives when we talk about
your book became
what you were
Sherry is my healing.
It’s like you were
saying every chapter
hm.
I cried.
How can you know
if I get a not it it’s.
Every chapter.
Some of it are hard.
To put together.
The war is the put together
some of them are easy.
Because that was after.
The difficult part
but if you put them all
together there’s tears.
In their.
And tears are what.
Some of it or tears of pain.
But I would
say that most of it or tears of.
Happiness.
Electric translate into
something different man.
The self acceptance.
See I do not even think of that.
When you come to accept
yourself or who you are in there
and then turn around
and you look at the
books that principal.
Festival.
The.
Let’s bring the book
are you kidding.
I’ve got it all
or here.
She’s like.
Here’s the book.
Bounce.
This beauty a woman’s journey from abuse
homelessness in joblessness to giving back
to the community.
Not only.
You have overcome.
Abusive relationship.
You have journeyed
to come to know you.
Years
and I.
Truly believe in my heart.
That your now on a journey to.
Bloom
from the inside.
And blossom.
Like this
right so it’s not only
that you will bloom room
where that seen weiss.
When you started mentioning.
Watch me
blossom
but I
truly believe you are.
On the.
Pit
and like
at the tip of.
Blossoming
to who you are.
So my dear so.
Thank you for the beautiful.
Book that you have written.
And.
If you are interested in this by
all means please get this book
is called Bounce
by Maybelle Regaspi
and you will found that.
Find it on Amazon
and by
means my name is Liza Boubari
and as a clinical hypnotherapist
stress management and d v consulting
I am here
to help you.
And if there’s any way
that I can be of assistance
to you or someone you know.
Of by all means
be in touch with me.
And. Click. Share
subscribe
and.
Allow US
to be the voice
of so many
who don’t have a voice to speak
today.
It is time for US to show up.
Stand up and
speak up and for that
and want to thank you
thank you.
Congratulations and god bless
the of your hike of
cars and the papa.
Alright.
Until next week.
We will see you again.